Our Family.
My beautiful girl!
Vulnerable - I have been thinking about this word a lot lately. At our last staff meeting, we talked a lot about this word. How making ourselves vulnerable is good. It is not easy, and sometimes we hurt because of it, but the opposite is also true, where we can experience so much joy when we open our hearts.
As parents of a medically challenged child, we are vulnerable. We are vulnerable to illness, to "norms", to going somewhere but having to figure out if her wheelchair can get into where we are going. We are vulnerable to the future, as we can't plan to far in advance, we are vulnerable to medical supplies, as insurance only does so much, and as soon as the word handicap is added to anything, the price skyrockets. So thankfully we have what we need, but some of the extra's that could help in so many ways, are simply not a possibility at this time.
Because of those issues that make us vulnerable, we are thankful when she is well, we don't take it for granted. We are grateful for locations that are handicap accessible. We use what we have available and share what we can with other families when Quinn outgrows things. We also get to see the generocity of others, and how one family sharing wheelchairs with other families, and the huge change it makes in their lives. Oh it is a powerful gift. We are thankful for good days, we are thankful for the kids in Quinn's class that love her so. We are thankful for birthday invitations, for therapists, for nurses, for teachers, for every moment. (Well, not every moment, but we sure try not to take them for granted)
As foster parents, we are vulnerable. We put our hearts and souls into our kids and don't know what is going to happen in the future. They are visiting their bio mom right now, and we don't know what the future holds. That keeps us all vulnerable.
Again, we try to put our hearts into every moment. Helping them learn coping skills, play with all our might. We work on how to learn, and to develop a love for learning. Develop love for themselves, and giving them the sense of security and love.
Being vulnerable is hard, but so worth it.
Well, mothers day is coming up and I read this beautiful letter from a non-mom to her pastor. I understand that feeling, as the article talked about how so many non-mom's have a hard time with that day. I can totally relate, as I had a few of those years. I wanted to be a mom so bad, and did not know if it would happen. I can say I don't have the life I wished and hoped for at that time, but at the same time, I am so thankful for the life I currently have, and truly think I would not trade it, if I could. I would love for Quinn to not be sick, but will be grateful to have her in my life, she teaches me so much all the time. I also wish our other two would have the stability they both need so much, and we can only give them so much, as we can't promise a specific future for them. We can however give them stability and love for the current time.
OK, back to the article, it talked about how to acknowledge mothers, and at the same time acknowledge women in general, as being a woman is hard, and we need to love each other. So I'm totally stealing the rest of this blog, I love every word of it, and share it from my soul.
To those who gave birth this year to their first child—we celebrate with you
To those who lost a child this year – we mourn with you
To those who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge of food stains – we appreciate you
To those who experienced loss this year through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or running away—we mourn with you
To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with pokes, prods, tears, and disappointment – we walk with you. Forgive us when we say foolish things. We don’t mean to make this harder than it is.
To those who step-parent, we walk with you on these complex paths
To those who envisioned lavishing love on grandchildren, yet that dream is not to be, we grieve with you
To those who want to be moms - we hope with you
To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, and spiritual moms – we need you
To those who have warm and close relationships with your children – we celebrate with you
To those who have disappointment, heart ache, and distance with your children – we sit with you
To those who lost their mothers this year – we grieve with you
To those who experienced abuse at the hands of your own mother – we acknowledge your experience
To those who lived through driving tests, medical tests, and the overall testing of motherhood – we are better for having you in our midst
To those who will have emptier nests in the upcoming year – we grieve and rejoice with you
And to those who are pregnant with new life, both expected and surprising –we anticipate with you
