The Otte's

I read the book Journey out of Silence by William L. Rush, over the weekend and it was a wonderful read for me.

http://www.amazon.com/Journey-Out-Silence-William-Rush/dp/0939644215

It is a book, that Chrissy loaned me over a year ago, and I tried to read it a few times, and simply could not do it at that time. My personal stories in my life, but even more so in my head were getting in the way of my reading it. The story of a person with disabilities was getting to close to home for me and sometimes I want to simple live a life of ignorance, so I don’t have to think about it or accept my own families story. That sounds crazy, as I do accept Quinn and everything about her, whole heartedly, but I do worry about how others will accept her, and that does bother me. Which is strange that I still feel that way, because we have never really had a bad experience where I have felt that way. I thank God for that! Well, back to the book.

Willima Rush, has Ceriabal Pausley, and writes about his life, growing up with a disability and how it affected his life, for the good and for the bad. As I read the last few chapters of this book, Quinn was cuddling in my arms. She still has a cold and could not get comfortable, and continued to whine and cry until I picked her up and she cuddled into my chest, falling asleep almost instantly, and those are the moments that take my breath away. The moments that I don’t want to have end. I don’t want her to grow up to fast, because having her cuddle into me, is the best feeling in the world. She calmed down and fell asleep within moments, and those are the moments where she is my little girl, and I’m her mom, and they don’t involve wheelchairs, or feeding pumps, or meds, or anything, just the importance of a good cuddle. Oh how I appreciate those times. That is in a sense what Rush was getting at in his book. With help he could overcome so many of the issues that got in his way, he just wanted to be loved, and sometimes a wheelchair and that stuff would get in the way. We all just want to be loved.

The one quote that really got to me, (it got to someone else too, as that page corner was turned down already.) Rush was talking about how some folks were the do-gooders who chose to give instant sympathy rather than sincere empathy. Rush talked about how he had to weed those folks out and ignore them. I have to say that was me. Before Quinn, I always had a soft spot for my students with disabilities, and I did give them sympathy, and thought I was doing good, and gave them a pat on their head, and did not expect much from them. Quinn has taught me to be empathetic and at the same time, look past the outer shell, and have personal and specific expectations for everyone. As we can all learn from each other, and we all have so much to offer.

In the book, Rush continued to say how he was healed throughout his life, as he was able to do almost everything he ever wanted. It might not have been the way he planned, but he could get around, he could talk, he got a job at the paper, but at the same time, there were things he still wanted so desperately. He wanted to be loved. He talked so wonderfully about his parents, and friends, but he really wanted to find that romantic love, and after I did a bit of research on him, on the internet, I was so glad to see that he did get married. Wow, a wonderful ending for him, as he said that was his number one wish.

He ended his book by talking about Dr. martin Luther King Jr.’s speach, “I have been to the mountain top, and I have seen the promised land.” His promised land was the people who loved and accepted him for who he was. “…….We as a people will get there….” King continued. Rush added, “I know that people with disabilities will get to the promised land. All it takes is becoming educated enough to educate others that we’re merely humans.”

I hope with all my being that Quinn and I can continue on that path to become educated enough to educate others on that exact fact, that we’re merely humans. I think that is why I get emotional when reading this. I know that he has made a difference and I hope we get to make a difference as well. Every single one of us has so much to offer. I am blessed to have some amazing teachers who I consider friends who continue to teach me how to be a better person, and I’m so thankful to have them guiding me. I’m thankful for Quinn to keep me grounded, and help me remember to take the little things for the amazing adventures they are. Not to cast them aside, as I could have so easily done. I still have so much learning to do, so Quinn, as I look down to see you sleeping so sweetly, you better get your rest, because we have a lot of learning to do. I love you so Quinn, and I can’t wait to remind you of that when you wake up!

Thank You Mr. Rush, for refreshing my soul, and teaching me how to share a story, and not give up! I was inspired.