The Otte's

Change - The process of becoming different.

Here Quinn is playing go fish with Chrissy! Yet another cool little slab of wood I need with that groove in it, to hold cards!

Goodness, I could just break down and start crying even thinking of all the changes happening. None of them are horrible, in fact most of them are wonderful, but change is hard on me. I can't think of Quinn in school all day. I can't imagine not being able to email Miss Rachel or Miss Joni to check on Quinn. I can't imagine not taking Quinn to Chrissy's to hang out when she is not in school. Oh, that one hurts. Chrissy is such a cheerleader for Quinn and can get her to do things before anyone else, and knowing that will be changing hurts my heart! The only good thing is that Chrissy is staying in Lincoln and going onto bigger things for her. I can't begin to thank her for the last couple years. She is amazing and we are blessed to have had her in our lives for such a big part of the last couple years. Chrissy can get Quinn to spell her name, to write her name, to be so much more successful then anyone else thought she could be. I thank God every day for blessing us with Chrissy, and am even more thankful to call her a friend and know that our friendship won't stop here. Still, change is hard! So on that front, we are going to start looking into nursing. We are going to need to get nursing for the afternoons, to meet her and her bus, and we are also looking into a couple nights a week. Yikes, another big change, but we can do it.

Here is Miss Joni with Quinn, before their big preschool program. The last of her preschool programs. Sadly I was puking up my guts, so Chrissy stepped in and got Quinn to the program, and got pictures, so again, we are lucky to have her. I remember over a year ago, I went to a speaker, a father of a special needs daughter, who talked about how hard change was. He talked about how at every IEP meeting his wife would cry at home before then went to the meeting, not because she was embarrassed or ashamed, but because it was hard to talk about her daughters short comings, when she had so many amazing traits. She had to mourn the past and put it behind her, and buck up for the future. As I look at our life, most of our future is looking amazing. Our house is wonderful and we are so excited to be sharing it with the public right now. Quinn's power chair is looking more and more promising, and Quinn has been so excited about her programs and recitals and house. So we have so many things to be so grateful for, and excited about, and I truly am. Just sometimes my flu bug, and my emotions get the best of me. As I'm meeting with my 5th graders for the last time, I remember them as the little bitty Kindergartners who came to Zeman 6 years ago, and think how fast the time went, and how I sure hope Quinn's elementary experience does not zoom by like the last 6 years has for me. It helps me remember not to take any moment for granted! Just getting to snuggle up next to her this morning as I was getting her dressed was wonderful, as I had not been in the same room with her the last 3 days, with being sick and all. So, change is hard for me. I like to know I'm going to see Chrissy's smile in the morning, and hear how she got Quinn to do some amazing new feat! I like to hear stories about Nadean pushing her around the playground and Quinn giggling. I take comfort in knowing that Chrissy would step up and go to the Preschool program, since I was sick and in bed. I won't even mention how therapy times are having to change around, so that will be new and different as well, but I can only handle so much at a time. Change - for me is hard. It is also a good thing for me to see how lucky we have been these last couple years, or these changes would not be so hard. In fact I'm not sad about moving into the house or getting a new power chair. I'm not upset about moving all our stuff over and unboxing for a lot of the summer. I think it comes down to the people, we are so lucky to have the support system we do. We have friends who I will always be thankful for. I wish all the best to them in their new endeavors or new students they will meet, but will be so thankful for the time they have spent with my amazing daughter! I also give a big shout out to my 5th graders! Each and every one of you have touched my heart! I love it that I get to be part of your lives for 6 years (for most of you) and I hope I've helped you think differently, be open to new experiences and truly love yourselves. You know I guess change is hard for me because I know just how good our life is right now, and I believe we have an amazing journey ahead of us, but the past has been pretty amazing as well, and so the future has a lot to compare to. Goodness, writing these when I'm tired might not be the greatest idea, but it is what it is. Blessings, Susan